From: Tom Cook
To: Recipients
Sent: Saturday, June 30, 2012 11:57 PM
Subject: Tom's prayer update - June 2012
Dear prayer friends,
In my last letter in March (which you can see via a link at the bottom), I told of the 3 full-time jobs I have for which I get nearly nothing, and that to survive, I've had to continue the semi-sporadic sign-spinning work. And of course, that means I get very little done on the 3 jobs. Those 3 jobs, excessively summarized, are:
1. Humongous amounts of work to continue building the website TomsGoodFiles.com, which is now only a fraction of what it can become as an education resource in the elimination of nearly all instances of major and minor chronic disease everywhere. (Diseases are already being eliminated, but only for those who get adequatedly educated.)
2. Specialized software for Point-of-Sale (order entry) for a friend's office, which is designed around the needs of the vertical market he is in.
3. A service of providing electronic resources for a rapidly growing body of physicians around the nation who are the facilitators of great healing.
Things have gone from minimally (barely) okay and doing a bit better, downhill to lots of discouragement and stressful challenges to my faith. Concerning, correspondingly, the 3 jobs:
1. I've virtually run out of all things I was ever able to think up (or be taught) over these last 13 months to raise support for the website, and nothing has resulted (beyond 3 current donors - they too are baffled). Of course I was praying and am still praying for wisdom for direction. Please pray with me for that. One might think "If funds haven't come, then maybe you're supposed to stop this direction and go elsewhere". To that I'll repeat what I said last time, "So please pray that the support would come. I am even more committed to the mission of Tom's Good Files, as I am ever increasing in my awareness of it's power to change the world for the Glory of God. It is WORTHY of my full-time attention!" And if ideas for raising support come to YOUR mind, maybe God wants me to learn of the idea FROM YOU.
2. The POS software, which is happily in daily use at my friend's office, has way too much work to be done before we can launch. That date in August, in which my friend HAS to demo it to some important people, WILL come and is inflexible. So we've concluded that we'll give them only "a preview" and "demo" of it, perhaps attempting the real launch in November. I remember during a business lunch it was *I* who actually suggested we may need to bump it to November. Inside, I was moaning a bit, realizing that that's more months of no badly needed income from it. My friend said this might actually be better, "building positive suspense" in our target market. So at least the mad pressure to race over very rough ground to "finish" it prematurely is gone.
3. The greatest, most discouraging, and most devastating.blow came early this month with the physicians' service proposal. After 6 months of various frustrating attempts to get it even looked at by "powers that be", a cryptic note (as yet unclarified by the author) came to me revealing that it's virtually dead until further notice. Further discussion might happen, but that probably won't happen soon, and even if it does, I'm rather sure the project, as defined, is dead. This has been a big blow to me, because all the last 11 months of discouragements of TomsGoodFiles.com NOT bringing in meaningful minimal support (let alone full-time support) seemed to be unimportant IF this service was to launch. I'd NEVER have to worry about website support again. Now *both* appear to be "dead" in that way. My growing hopes for freedom from the dark and difficult tunnel into the glorious light of fruitful and intense service, seem nearly completed dashed.
Right before this, some needed car repairs quadrupled in cost, decimating reserves, and the sign-spinning work took a serious and rather sudden downturn. That steady client of theirs suddenly stopped using us (or anyone), and there's been hardly any other Orlando-area clients. (Even the company's work in other states has slowed down seriously.) So the rejections and un-cleared-up misunderstandings of the #3 item hurt even worse, both financially and emotionally. Not many of my creditors have any way to extend grace for late payment, so I've been forced to scramble. I thought, "maybe now is the time to reapply and really GET a Walmart p-t job". But before I got that far, I did find another sign-spinning company that DOES have some work. (Sign-spinning is advantageous for me, because I'm already good at it, and mainly because I can accept as much or as little as I want. This allows me to phase it out, as needed.) The new pay is worse and the work is discouragingly rougher, but it's at least a trickle of work. I'm doing my 4th weekend with them, and have gotten the first 2-week paycheck, significantly smaller than if it was from Gotcha. I work hard to fight off the waves of discouragement that frequently roll over me, while I'm "working all day for the sugar in my tay" as the old song goes.
There's a Christian doctor in another state, a very skilled QRA practitioner, mildly acquainted with my longer-term history, and a bit more than a little about these 3 "jobs" (and the 4th one), who has encouraged me to pin up a personalized verse, and memorize it. You probably know it, Job 42:12, "The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; and he had 14,000 sheep and 6,000 camels and 1,000 yoke of oxen and 1,000 female donkeys." (You probably know that Job had a successful life then lost it all and was even in physical agony.) This doc urged me to do this 2 years ago, which I did, but seldom remembered to look at it. He recently re-urged me to do it. This time, I added the personalization and printed both of them in a large font, and I try to look at it every day. (He urged me to recite it every morning and night.) "The Lord blessed the latter days of Tom more than his beginning; and he had many useful possessions that he used to honor God." I do believe this can become true and OUGHT to become so (it's right for it to). I don't know how much of this is supposed to be strictly through things I do, or if there might be some external "thing" blessingly thrust upon me. Believe me, I do have "room enough to receive it"! And I am very eager to bury myself in these 3 jobs that I have great vision for, if only my physical needs were met in order to enable that. (I say this so you won't think if support comes in, that I'll just loaf around.)
Sometimes, even embracing the truth of Job 42 is discouraging. "Yes, Lord, I do believe my latter days will be tremendously blessed by you, but after the years I've struggled (even decades depending how you define it), what if those 'latter days' don't begin for another 10 or 20 years????" I want the "latter days" to start NOW. It's overdue; in one way 5 long years, another way 21 years, and still another, 40 years. I can't help feeling these ways very often in these recent days of personal downturn.
There's a handful of the many songs that Z88 Christian radio plays throughout the day that greatly stoke me up on the job to dance violently like David, and almost crying in [painful] identification, as certain words are hit. One song is "Stronger" by Mandisa. Another is "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts. This one hit me again today while sweating at 95 degrees with more layers of clothing and sunscreen on than I'd prefer. Listen to this brief portion (click on the link) while you're reading the corresponding words below: (It acknowledges and expresses my pains, and encourages me to still trust.) Imagine me wielding a sign and dancing "with all my might".
www.TomsGoodFiles.com/Parts-of-No-Matter-What.mp3
...I've got to say this has taken me by surprise,Can you understand why I'd be dancing hard, not just from the good beat, but from the powerful words, and nearly in tears?? Please pray for whatever you feel led, my friends.
But nothing surprises You.
Before a heartache can ever touch my life,
It has to go through Your hands,
And even though I... keep asking why,
I keep asking why,
No matter what, I'm going to love You,
No matter what, I'm going to need You.
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain,
But if not, if not, I'll trust you,
No matter what, no matter what.
...
I know You have Your reasons for everything,
So I will keep believing,
Whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope,
And you'll be my strength,
No matter what, I'm going to love you,
No matter what, I'm going to need you.
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain,
But if not, if not, I'll trust You.
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain,
But if not, if not, I'll trust You,
No matter what, no matter, no matter what,
No matter, no matter what...